Can't Live Without You

Christina Hayes / 15 / Rosewood House

"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come out of it"

"If I wear a mask I can fool the world, but I cannot fool my heart.."

— Boredom Strikes on Sunday || Cian & Christina


Listening to Christina talk about her breakup changed the whole atmosphere of the room. Minutes ago they were racing down the hallway. Now they were cuddled together talking about her ex. He didn’t mind though. Cian wanted to be there to make her feel better, to help her forget. ” I’m sorry,” he said, looking into her eyes. “Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe… You guys weren’t meant for each other. Maybe you were supposed to get a lesson out of it.” He took her hand and gently squeezed it. “Either way, break ups aren’t easy. But you’ll be okay,” he added with a reassuring smile.

He held her closer as she snuggled into him. She was so soft and her hair smelled like… strawberries. Cian didn’t mind holding her like that. In fact, he didn’t even want to let go. But Christina soon jumped up and headed for her mini fridge. He got up and followed her to the fridge. Things were already awkward. He pondered whether taking a risk would creep her out completely. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind, Cian helped her back up. “It’s okay,” he said, his confidence slowly coming to him. He closed the gap between them and his lips brushed against hers. He kept telling himself that he was only doing this to comfort her, but he knew that it was because he really did like her.

Christina was taken by surprise with that kiss. At first she tensed herself completely, her eyes wide open in shock, but then she gave into the kiss and closed her eyes, putting her hand on his cheek. As the kiss progressed, Christina began to realize what she was doing. She wasn’t even fully over Jesse and she was already kissing someone else? She bit her lip to break off the kiss and looked down at her hands, “I’m sorry, Cian. I- I can’t do this…” she told him and slowly looked up at him, “I like you a lot, I really do! It’s just that I’m not really over Jesse and- I don’t know- I don’t want to hurt you or anything…” she mumbled and gave him a half smile.

(Source: christina-hayes)

— One Last Kiss // Jesstina


It was in the middle of the day, just a typical day. Except this typical day wasn’t all that typical. Jesse had heard from the grapevine that Christina was leaving Penningtons today… for what reason, he had no idea. His whole morning consisted of him battling with himself if he should approach her or not and what he would say if he actually did. I love you? I’m sorry? Let’s get back together even though you’re leaving? It all didn’t seem to matter at this point. No matter what was going to flow out of his mouth, she was still going to be leaving and who knows when he would see her again. 

He layed flat on his bed and played absent mindedly with a baseball that he would throw up into the air. Jesse hadn’t even been out of his room all day, he wasn’t dressed to impress anyone. He had bed hair and wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants and a simple T shirt. Right when he heard a knock at the door, for whatever reason, he felt like it would be Christina. Maybe that was just his wishful thinking but once he opened the door, he was glad his hunch was right. Well… maybe not glad considering there was the girl he was still madly in love with standing right in front of him looking like an angel while he looked like a complete mess. And the fact that when she spoke her words were broken and he immediately knew that this was going to be a rough conversation.

“S-sure…” He muttered out simply. What else was there to say? Honestly he was in a sort of daze that Christina actually came to see him and that she was really standing in front of him in his room. Was he dreaming? He couldn’t have been. Jesse stepped aside and let Christina come in. He didn’t even know what to do now. Instead he stood right in the middle of the room and stared down at his bare toes. “What is it?” He asked calmly, knowing that she was going to mention that she was leaving.

As soon as Jesse opened the door, Christina had to fight the urge to throw her arms around him and give him a really tight hug. She didn’t know how Jesse would react, considering the fact that she was pretty sure he hated her. Once she stepped into his room, she felt her heart starting to shatter. She hadn’t been there for what felt like years, and looking around filled her with melancholy and nostalgia. She wouldn’t be there ever again. She wouldn’t be able to sit on his bed, or lie on the couch doing nothing all day. She wouldn’t be able to lie with him on the bed and do absolutely nothing because she was going back home. She was leaving.

She sat on the arm rest of his couch and held both her hands together. How to start saying this? She sighed and shook her head. “I- I’m sorry…” she whispered and closed her eyes, letting her head hang low as a single tear made its way down her cheek. She sniffed and put a strand of her red hair on the back of her ear. What was she apologizing for, though? For everything. For coming like this, for being so stupid, for causing him so much trouble. She wiped the tear and looked up at him, “I really don’t know how to say this…” she said, again, it came out as a whisper. She was in so much pain right in that moment. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to go if it meant leaving without him.

Christina closed her eyes and stifled a sob, “I- I know you probably heard about this already” she started, her voice breaking once again as she tried her best not to cry, “but I- I talked to my parents and th-they decided I should go back home…” she said and let out a shaky breath. She slowly looked up at him and forced a smile which came out as a sad smile. “I just- I wanted t-to say goodbye before I leave…” she whispered and closed her eyes, letting the tears fall. “I’m going to miss you so much, Jesse,” she said as she stood up and walked over to him, giving him a really tight hug. Her warm tears falling on his shirt as she held him tighter. When she let go of him she just looked down at her hands, “I really hope you never forget about me, Jesse,” she sobbed and bit her lip, holding back another one.

(Source: christina-hayes)

— One Last Kiss // Jesstina

Leaving. That was what Christina Hayes was going to be doing now. She was leaving. After so much suffering back there in Austin, her parents wanted her back home with them because they thought Pennington’s would never do her any good. Like everyone would do if they got such news, Christina did the thing she knew how to do best; she cried. She didn’t want to, but the tears came flowing down her eyes like a waterfall. What would happen now? What about her friends? What about the people she cared of the most? She couldn’t just go!

She was curled up in her bed, trying her best to go to sleep just to forget. To forget about everything and everyone. Maybe if she didn’t say goodbye it would be easier? No, it would make everything harder. Once she was almost done packing, she opened her laptop and moved the cursor around a bit, waiting for the screen to come on. Once it did, a picture of her making a peace sign in front of Pennington’s popped up. Her face lit up immediately, but then turned into a frown when she remembered she was leaving. She clicked “NEXT,” and the second picture that popped up was one of her and Jesse. Jesse Lorence. She couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye to him, right? Even if they weren’t in the best of terms, she was still as in love with him as she was when they were together.

She shut her laptop close and threw it over her bed, taking her hand to her throat to avoid the tears from falling. She felt her heart beating in her throat, but she didn’t want to cry anymore. She couldn’t let herself cry anymore, especially not if she was planning on seeing Jesse. Christina wanted to make it super special, she wanted to look beautiful, even if the motive of her visit wasn’t exactly something special or anything.

She ran to her bathroom and threw on a short beige dress, heels, and a heart gold necklace. She let her hair fall down, and she did her makeup carefully. She decided not to take anything with her. She would probably just be there for a few minutes and then she’d leave, but she didn’t want that. The reason she got all dressed up was mostly because she wanted to be with him one last time. She wanted to kiss his lips one last time.

She rushed out her dorm and didn’t even bother to close the door. She felt like she could start crying in any minute, and maybe if she got there faster, that meant she would cry later. She rushed up the steps on the Windsor house, and pushed the heavy doors open. Room 404. She thought as she made her way there playing with the chain in her necklace. Once she was there, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wasn’t sure she was ready to do this. She loved Jesse so much, and she didn’t know what to expect for his reaction. Would he be happy? Sad? She took another deep breath and knocked on the door three times. “J-Jesse. I need to talk to you…” she stuttered as her voice was breaking. It all came out in a whisper, soft and slow. She gulped as she waited for him to open the door. I don’t want to leave without seeing his face at least once more.

— Well, I guess dreams do come true.


But you are my best friend.

I know… and you’re mine! I just- I wish I could bring you with me…

(Source: christina-hayes)

— Well, I guess dreams do come true.


I’m not gonna let you leave me! No!

I’m so sorry, Annabeth. I just- my parents want me to leave… they think Pennington’s isn’t doing me any good and they want me back home.

(Source: christina-hayes)

— Well, I guess dreams do come true.

Not for me, though. Those people who called the other day and told me they wanted me to go back home? Their wish has been granted. I’m going home…